Human Missile tools

Human Missile does not need a damage calculator with twelve sliders. It needs a few cards you can read while the pad is under your feet. This hub points at those cards: the controls cheatsheet, the upgrade planner, and troubleshooting.

Deep how-tos still live in guides. Ranks live in tier lists. This category is for the one-screen versions.

What each tool is for

Controls answers ‘what do I hold on this device?’ PC, mobile, and console disagree on the launch key and agree on the camera. Read it before you blame physics.

Upgrade planner answers ‘what do I buy with the first pile?’ It uses buckets, not fake names, because the beta shop is still growing. Read it before you buy a trail.

Troubleshooting answers ‘is this a bug or a tap?’ It is a five-minute diagnostic that sends you back to launch, smash, or a real bug report.

If you want a story around those answers, open how to launch or how to upgrade. The tools are the short form. The guides are the long form. Use both; do not paste them into a script menu.

How to keep a tool honest

After a publish, spend two minutes on patch notes, then glance at these pages. If the hold key changed, controls changes. If a new shop row appears, the planner gains a line. We will not add a calculator that pretends to compute a hidden multiplier the studio never published.

Using tools on a shared server

Eight players will ask you for ‘the best build’. Send them the planner, not a flex. If they cannot launch, send them controls. If they want lore, they are in the wrong game. Send them the review and the pad.

There is no official companion app. Anything that asks you to log in to ‘sync tools’ is a trap. See script safety. These pages are static on purpose.

Open controls if you are about to play on a phone you rarely use. Open the planner if you just banked your first points. Then close the wiki, hold the input, and look at a house. The tool did its job when you stop needing it mid-dive.